This is Lame

im shivers and running water
mountains and valleys because of simple sentences
and lost senses
nights that slip between our fingers and mornings that contain promise
i used to fall so easily into the weighted darkness
and find myself in different homes
lose myself in someone that couldnt hold me for longer than five minutes
two cups of coffee later
black so i would hate the taste and make it go faster
i would realize the damage i had done the new nightmares i had caused
self harm inflicted in my bones

my mouth is like a prisoner
my hands like a freed slave i am awake im freedom
i can write you a thousand lines about what it means to see you look at me
and to look back in fullness and fairness an equity that ive never had before
that we dont tire after moments
or after months
but my lips close around my teeth close around my tongue contain the ink that spills from
my fingertips but cant be vocalized in the same way
lips like sugar lips like honey lips like bees
ill find the courage to speak these words
and find dawn in the way it makes your eyes light up in front of mine
and find new chapters in the way it frees my soul

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The Pieces I Left Behind

You can feel the heat
from the things you left behind
and don’t worry
the words you never said
were not the ones I wanted to hear.
Maybe in another world you and I
would make
sense.
But that is not the world we live in.
I can feel the spaces
of the things I left behind
and don’t worry
I won’t miss all that is already gone,
it is lost in that parallel world where you
and I were
you and I.
That is not the world we live in.
At least not now.

Bends And Breaks.

She bends her words
to fit his frame
and he bends his frame 
to fit her words. 
They’ve forgotten how much they’ve changed
that originality is dead
that uniqueness is only discoverable, not
granted and 
that they are two lost souls
>who think they’ve found each other.

Questions Without Answers

Everyone is dying, 
but I’m afraid I’m already dead. 
When was the last deep breath you took my friend?
One that was clean and free? 
One where your lips didn’t taste like alcohol and bad decisions? 
One where you knew that you would remember the feeling of freedom? 
I have learned to embrace my prison, 
but the walls are closing in
am I dying, am I dead? 
Am I simply afraid of living?

In All of This, I Never Regret You.

Regret crawls into 
my stomach and settles itself for a long stay. 
It burrows into me and inks its words
on the inside of my veins.
My blood absorbs my mistakes, 
burning my entire body, 
effectively, 
creating a heart that is cold and on fire.
It says there are so many things
I have done wrong but through all of this
the knives and the fire, 
the ice and the dropping feeling of failure that
regret brings along,
I will never forget feeling anything for you. 
Because you are
something precious in the dark ink 
of badness. The thought of you
hurts
it does, but it hurts in a cooling way,
in a way that settles the fires and
eases the pain. 
I’ll never regret you. 

The Clouds, The Sun, The Moon, The Stars

The clouds whisper to me, 
they are not afraid of flying, they are only afraid of being alone. 
The sun whispers to me, 
louder, 
she is not afraid of shining, just of becoming irrelevant when it sets. 

The stars whisper to me
in a cacophony of words, 
they are afraid they cannot grant the wishes 
of the hopeless and the desperate. 

They wait for the sun to rise, 
to ease the burden, release the constant
pressure, 
always building.

The moon whispers to me, 
quietly, almost imperceptibly,
“No one notices me, until I’m gone.” she says, she
is afraid of 
losing the ones that love her, for no reason 
except that at night she has so much time to think. 

Don’t we all?