Today I woke up a little bit more

I had a dream about a fight between you and I
A bus ride and a beach
A sink full of milk and dead ants a
Four poster bed and a sense, no,
A few of falling

I woke up heavy
Weighted down by worry the kind of burden
That hurts to carry the kind of burden
That no one can really see
Damp hair
Damp eyes
The kind of mood in which you cry
Over sandwiches and snapping turtles

I often think about long plane rides and
Running away
Dropping keys in the ocean
Of inking my skin until I’m unrecognizable
A smiling stranger to myself in the mirror
A stranger in the street
I won’t follow you if you choose to run away

I often think about being unafraid
Laughing until I cannot breathe
Floating without sinking
Dreaming without crying
The kind of mood in which you feel effervescent
Realistic expectations of myself not clashing
With the illustrations in my head
Just a room
With a four poster bed