Words I Believe Too Much Now

ice cold fingers
even colder heart
my armor is too thick
my inner thoughts too guarded
i can’t deny the truth of what i wish was falsehood

hot face burning with thought
hot tears when i realize days later that i cant change the ice queen
ive decided to become long ago
throwing elbows when i walk casually deciding to win the race
of “I definitely care less”
i have won and i have lost so much
like a participation ribbon for last place i want to set fire to my skin to
tell my soul to warm up just a bit

shivering body
shivering thoughts nothing really makes sense anymore
i
am the dumbest person ive ever met desperate for someone to understand me
unwilling to let them know who i am
and ive found myself once again
in last place
running too slow
and im already too late its over
no participation ribbon just a forgotten girl

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