Irrationality #6

endings feel like ropes
suffocation
i told you we were fine i was so happy for you
for her
i drank too much wine i felt numb i felt something
i felt enough to mess it all up again
i wonder when i will ever feel more than a pothole
an uneven piece of sidewalk cement tripping up peoples toes
sometimes making people bleed in my inconvenience

i am a car accident waiting to happen

sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night
but i always fall back asleep with a different name
on my lips
it doesnt take long for me to realize that you
and i were more like razor blades than rain
i hate that i believed in you when we kissed

it took me months to find the sober courage to write this
it will take me months to stop thinking about you
with numbness and needles
because i needed you to leave and you stand on the periphery
of everything i do i hope i change your name in my phone
i hope i delete you there too i hope i will rip the bandaid off
and bleed honestly

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