Take From This What You Want

im a little fragile right now
but i dont care
look at me the wrong way all sympathy and drooping eyes
come closer
i almost dare you
i can cut you with my ragged edges
worn but sharp
damaged but able to damage
knives that are dull can still cut right?

i needed nothing but the thought of you
but i guess you realized that
you needed her she needed you maybe you two were really a match
and you took away the only thing that i needed
an illusion
a foggy night a car i dont want to drive anymore
you told me you hated heights but
jesus christ you never hesitated to push me off a cliff

i needed nothing but solid ground below my feet
sneakers maybe so that i can pretend to run away from my demons
my lungs inhaling fire i cant really run that fast
the car keys bumping in my hand
i shouldnt have left when the road got cloudy
i need somewhere to land
but i dont need you
god no


Why Do Things That End Almost Always End Badly

i still have the bruises you left on my skin
the silence you burned onto my tongue
the heat of your hand touching mine gently
not so gently
when you pulled away i knew what was never begun
was over
i tried to feel something other than a little desperate
that pushing nudging voice in my head whimpers
that i should have known better because mom and dad
put a good head on my shoulders
ive always looked both ways before i crossed the street
and now i am biting my tongue so hard it threatens to bleed
so that i dont reach out to you
mom and dad put a stone cold heart in my chest
but every so often it warms a little
bleeds a little
mom and dad forgot they ever had a little girl
when i refused to cry over the things that should have broke me

i drove my car two days ago and never
thought about running it off the road
i dont remember the day i met you thank god
but i do remember the first time i really noticed you
and the day i wish i hadnt
mom and dad gave me an analytical brain and sometimes it haunts me
im so full of regret sometimes i think i might throw up
all the words i never said because god
im still biting my tongue and youre still absent
even when youre right in front of me