Declarations

im trying to think of better metaphors
than the flames i feel underneath my skin
when i look at you and you look away
like i am a car accident
and you have always been sensitive to blood
and gore
i am the mess your life didnt allow for
and i will not apologize

fear creeps in
the cracks that it is known to occupy
i miss the way we used to write
where Fear and Fortune
were granted capital letters
before the world threw us together
before you fought all the Forces
that put us here
before i realized
i cannot prevent the car accident from happening
and i will not turn back around

i stand upon a stage
and i pretend i cannot see the audience
i am singing in a language that i must know
but cannot remember ever learning
i am singing louder than i ever have
and i am so afraid
that i can feel every muscle in my body
vibrating slightly
i am the car accident waiting to happen
and i am unashamed even if i am afraid

i once dated a boy who believed he
could save my day simply by existing
and i will never be able to explain to you
the hurt he felt when he realized he was wrong
he wasnt born wearing a superheroes cape
and that i
also never needed saving
i will not apologize

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