What is Being Okay

i let this feeling grow inside of me
i focus on it
twisting
somewhere behind my ribs
stretching all the way down to my toes
all encompassing sometimes
i cant think breathe
swallow chew
oh wait chew, swallow
i literally cannot believe how cold my hands are right now

this
this has nothing to do with him or you
or staircases and chewing gum
this is every moment ive said
how simply okay it is
to be stepped on
thrown away
pushed aside
i
i
should know better by now

i look in the mirror and i have betrayed myself
this i know
and this i let stab me
behind my eyes
behind my ribs somewhere
i really cant breathe now

for awhile i thought you were stabbing
stabbing me in the back
but i realize now
i was holding the knife the whole time
and
i would like to clean the blood off now thanks

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