Why am I..

i am vulnerability
a crumbling girl in the ER
somehow changed when its all passed
good news
a happy ending
bad news
happy endings dont always account
for the scars and bruises they leave along the way
the trains are about to collide
but dont jump off or you will surely
die
why are we always taking our chances by living?
and
i am still surprised the sky hasnt fallen down
quiet yet unless
it has and this is the eternal blue we live in

have you ever noticed the way people look before they cry?
all inhales and blinking eyes
you think you can stop the inevitable
but you cant
you are two trains about to collide
dont jump off because those tears are
as important as the beating of your heart
and those damned lungs that dont give up

my brain is wired differently now
triggers that i never expected
big red PANIC BUTTONS that say do not touch
and only in case of emergencies
there are places in my mind now i never would have imagined
railroad tracks
you guessed
im sure
two trains about to collide
please jump
this time and take the risk of flying out that window
see what the ground feels like instead of the impact

i am standing in front of a train that is stopped
i am standing in the ocean barely touching my ankles
i am sitting outside in a rainstorm
i am everything about to collide and im
taking the risk of living.

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