So Be It

he said he liked you but isnt the
relationship kind of guy
and then he gets some girlfriend
who you admit is much cuter
and more talented she has a better laugh
than yours and you know he smiles
at least ten times more with her than he ever did with you
so be it

and you didnt get an A
even though being smart and doing well in school
was always your thing
and you feel like jumping off a cliff
down just like your GPA
until you cant breathe and that last paper
is irrelevant as yesterdays news
so be it

and youre not as pretty or as funny
or as smart as you ever thought you should be
you dont feel like sleeping
or showering
or eating and sometimes
the mere thought of existence makes
you so tired that you
curl into a ball and fall asleep without an alarm
so be it

so be it
so be it
so be it
you say it so many times that you hear
and you think of Russia

and cold winters and cracked lips
and half used chapsticks and love letters you never wrote
and love songs you never sang
with words literally cracking on your lips
that everything hurts
everything is shattering and already shattered
frozen in that position because
you still need to learn

you still need to learn that your body is yours
its all you have
and to stop getting so tired at the thought of living

you need to learn that youre probably
not better off without him but hes better off without
the mess you called you
and you will move on with dignity and grace
and without finishing that last drink at that party
and calling him

you need to think in green lights
instead of stop signs
and in coffee stained good mornings and love letters you did
write and send a million times over

you need to accept
so be it.


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