About Me, The Real Way

i will sigh after news stories of politicians spewing promises
they have no intention of keeping
and when he breaks his promise i will think of him
as no less than our president
but i wont hold him to it
boys never call when they say they will but i wont ever
actually pick up the phone

i will cry sometimes while watching the news
or thinking of the sadness that things cannot always be fixed
i will twist the ring around my finger
because my mind is somewhere else
i will write him into every poem and see him at
every street corner
i will say that my mind barely pauses on him for more
than a moment each day

i miss the sound of his voice and i will let that ache grow
until i am biting my fingernails and
taking melatonin just to fall asleep
every dream will be vivid
and instantly forgotten
this space will feel more empty than it has ever felt

and somehow i will not find a way to define
myself anymore
because i will not recognize the face in the mirror
or the body i possess
and i wont regret it
i wont even think about it

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