I Bleed, You Bleed and We Bleed the Same (Unfortunately)

did you know that when you cut yourself
i bleed?
that the droplets of blood form droplets of blood red tears
and everything burns because your pain is projected
ten fold
i cant breathe and i hope
i pray
youre not struggling for air

one time
a face asked me loudly
there really were a lot of why’s
my power of exaggeration is gone
i want to write better songs about you
but all my poetry is so ugly

i screamed nothing
the words are incapable of showing off the indelible feelings
stomach crushing
heart tearing realizations that somehow
when we were sleeping i sewed my soul to yours
and no
our souls never matched perfectly but we fit together

you move and i move too
only slightly more because im always trying to catch up
and that voice in my head that face
it screams louder it wants to know WHY WHY WHY
i cant let it go
let him go
let it all go but
i cannot reconcile that letting him go would be
myself go and starting over
i am not good at starting over i am not good at questions with no answers
i am only good at empty sheets of paper
and scribbled out answers to the question
and anything that ends in why

because decision and decisive ridicules me as much as
3 a.m. ridicules me
it spits in my face it has a demonized version of a laugh
it hurls its insults
it spits some more and i just think about sleeping
and falling asleep and the cycle continues as the face in my head screams
questions and my head scribbles out answers
you shift and i shift and nothing needs to make sense
things just need to end
in concluding sentences and periods


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