Monday Night and All I Can Think About Is Unfinished

refractory moments and shards of light
i cannot blink because my eyes refuse to open
i do not know when they gained the mind of their own

i will always asked myself if it mattered
and do things matter if they are painful
or in the absence of pain
of songs that remind me of moments and these moments clash together
they battle in my head and they bleed onto my hands

can this moment end or am i stuck here forever

can this moment never end so i dont have to rely on my memory
as it will always let me down

i didnt want to fall asleep because my heart was aching and i knew
i would dream of everyone who sidestepped me
i would have nightmares of the ones i love turning to stone
and leaving me
with words i can only taste and never say

i hate unfinished sentences but all my thoughts are incomplete
is hatred born from the outside in or the inside out

i will be honest with my words from now on because
honest
most definitely starts from the inside out and i have to admit
that my heart is dusty and cold
and fragile
and it misses loving and hates how cynical it has become

everything is a circle
and everything within that circle is unreachable and unbreakable
and i stand outside this circle because i broke free

i miss the words that made sense so terribly.

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