Admit I Have A Problem

i cannot contain my heart anymore
the weight of it pulls me down underneath the beautiful world i once
was granted the gift of living in

here
everything is shades color that are faded
the vibrancy
expectancy
happiness and hope are muted
or missing altogether

i am learning
to admit the overwhelming nature of my sadness

i am learning to say
i am sad even with my good grades
and loving family and seemingly good existence
that
i still cannot find the groove i was supposed to fit in
that
in any given moment i burst into tears for no reason
that this feeling of sadness
makes me feel selfish
incomplete and whiny
but i am sad

and i need to learn to say it

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