No Courage

i cling to what is irrelevant because it is all i have
left
it doesnt matter what they said
that
one
time
because here and now everyone is forgotten
every
thing

is forgotten

i cant puzzle away the inconsistencies
i cant puzzle away that i fall asleep in a bed that smells like
memories and feels like home

i never asked for this

i dont want to be here
but it is all i have left
the space between my thoughts and words is growing
cavernous space that illuminates my sadness and
reminds me
in pieces
and shards that my courage is weakening
with every breathe i take

and every thought i reconcile and everything i say
that is the thing i should say
pushes me into a depth that will consume me

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