My Hands Are Freezing

i shake him awake because the darkness is consuming everything i do
i need to be reminded
that somewhere
lightness still exists

breathe louder

i whisper just loudly enough so that he knows i said something
words are irrelevant when intentions are clear
he thinks these words are important because
i think words are powerful but mostly
i am saying things that only matter in my limited brain

he doesnt question what i said because his hearing is impeccable
either he is the best listener this universe has seen
or he doesnt care
i dont mind either option
not caring is irrelevant when the intentions are unclear

but he is just tired enough to care so he mumbles for me to repeat
i am tired and my tongue is tired
but i ask him
to breathe louder so that i know that he is awake
so that the constant panic that kills me in low levels
like drinking poison one sip at a time
subsides
i want him to be alive and here always but he is already asleep

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