small

nothing
or all at once
tonight i feel small (always i feel small)
starlike but not quiet as bright
i do not feel better than thinking of snowflakes or sand grains
because i melt and because
i would be the sand swallowed or separated from the rest
i would be the sand that buries the child by accident and begs
for forgiveness that no one can grant me
i am dust and particles of dirt
i breathe in and i know i am smaller than the particles in the air
smaller still than those because i think
not even a microscope can see me
i am ink dots and coffee stains
i am dark and infinite
unwashable but not unclean
here i stand
small tonight
(small always)

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