Broken Bodies and Calming Lies

i tried so hard i broke my bones
trying to change into anyone but myself
so your eyes would not glaze over me
but choose me
like they chose her
and as i broke my bones and lost my soul
and swallowed the sweetest of lies
to dull the pain
i realized you were not the answer
you were not the one that calmed me
or settled me
or made me feel whole
because of you all i could ever feel was infinite layers of unfixable brokenness
that i had done to myself
ive always hated the way truth tastes
so bitter
not cool like the lies that would calm the fire underneath my skin
but lies make me sick and they never tast good a second time
constantly in need of reinventing themselves
so i will eat nothing but the truth from
everyone and i will take my broken soul elsewhere
and pray someone can love my broken body the way
i loved you from afar

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4 thoughts on “Broken Bodies and Calming Lies

  1. external love,
    looking in,
    will always be complete,
    and will always lead to infinite layers of unfixable brokenness.

    love cannot shine into a soul,
    but can only light from the inside out.
    a quest to find a lover for a broken body,
    is a quest doomed to fail,
    unless that lover
    is yourself.

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