Buried Alive

i add to the burden of living
by piling on guilt for things i cannot change
things that are out of my control
or something i can no longer change

some of the guilt is simple
like a wind up toy
i think about it too much
and it takes off
but time will run out and it
will stop moving and
i will be free
released from the weight
no longer running

but some of the weight is more
complicated
deeper
and truer
it is shoveling dirt on me
bit by bit
sometimes i think i can escape
but mostly i realize
that i am
losing the battle
i cannot climb out of the hole i have
inadvertently dug myself into
i am being buried alive

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