The Heaviest of Hearts

it begins to eat at me slowly
demanding my willpower but not challenging it
making me question my looks
forcing me to look at inner beauty as more important
because of course it is
but tell that to the insecure side of all of us
and the way society teaches us to be
the way we have taught ourselves to
obsess about perfect looks
so i look at myself and see something
so far from perfect
it makes mirrors the enemies

and then it begins to move faster
making me question my friendships
and relationships
with everyone important and unimportant
what i have
and what i dont have
what i see despite what is there
and although i am surrounded my those
who love and care
i feel very much on an island
with no one but different versions of myself

and these clones make the demons inside grow bigger
faster
realer
they say that i will never accomplish anything
and i scream at them that i will
but they have planted the seed of doubt
they have told me all the things
i have been trying to protect myself from
and as i persist
i watch as they eat me alive

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