Nothing Matters

i want the words of melodies
and sunsets
and storybook pages
full of life and color
a vibrancy that i have yet to see
it is getting harder to believe
in the things they say are true
when they arent there for me
and i want to believe in things
instead of counting them as lies
i want to know that people mean what they say
i want to know that i mean what i say
and that falling in love
shouldnt be hard
and things should mean something
actions and words
and silences and shoulders that are sometimes
offered and sometimes cold
and even mixed messages are messages
because im too young to believe
that nothing matters
it all should


Ramblings on Weight and Meaning

i wanted weight
i wanted answers
i wanted choices and decisions
and regrets
because life is worth living
and things that are worth it
are heavy
they can break you
maybe you dont want to feel broken
you like the way you look without cracks
nothing faded
pristine untouched
but look at you
so perfect
so guarded
have you really lived
i cant imagine that life is easy
i can imagine that life
hard and work and effort and longing
and desire and rampant
adventures and misunderstandings
it is feelings that dont make sense at a time
that doesnt work for anyone
it is late night conversations that turn into tears
because you miss the one you loved the most
because you think your friend will never be your friend again
because one day you will die and you
are afraid of the words you never got the chance to say
you need this weight
because you need meaning
you need answers
you need life

To My WordPress Family :]

Hi all! I want to first say, hello to any new followers and a second hi (or third or fourth) to all my older ones. Every day you guys seem to make my day a little brighter.
Now I promise I won’t do this often, or ever again (but who can really predict the future?), but I would love if you guys would check out the link below.

Apothecary Kitchen Kickstarter Link

This link is a kickstarter project for Apothecary Kitchen, it is a “creative, synergistic movement called Mountain. Transcendent meals, tea and baby food!”
It is a terrific concept with a lot of heart behind it, my lovely brother and his girlfriend included.
If you can make a donation to the cause, it would be greatly appreciated. Even if you can’t, please check out tthe video and spread the word! If you make a donation and wwant a promo for your blog, or a poem or anything, just comment below or email me at


Closed Minds

your words used to be sweet and smooth
sugar and water and a coolness that cannot be
you speak and i am relieved
how long has it been since ive heard your voice
but the words
they are like sandpaper
and salt
dry and edged and scathing
you arent mean
you just arent you
at least not the one ive drawn over and over in my mind
your absence giving me too much time
i guess i erased a few
parts of you that didnt fit in my head
i guess i forgot
so easily
that it takes a beautiful voice and an open mind
and the day you left
i let my mind be closed to you

Love Lies

love lies in the poems you used to leave me
scrawled on our bathroom mirror
tacked to the broken refrigerator handle
notes that would glow with your happiness
your gratitude
love lies in the way your hand found mine so easily
when it was dark and i was nervous
how your hand could stop mine from shaking
how easily you could craft security from nothing
love lies in your face greeting mine in the morning
all tired eyes and soft smiles and the
promise of a new day
waking up beside you knowing things could only get greater
and love lies in the sunset
that we watch from seperate places
feeling together although we are apart
and hoping the connection hasnt expired on the other side
that there are more long calls and lonely nights
to dream about a promising future
love lies in the coffee you make me
because you know how i like it
and the way you kill the spiders in the bathroom
even before i scream at them
and how you could always disagree with me
but never put me down
love lies in the greatness of my world with you in it
the valuation of human existence exemplified into something greater
i am not alone
i can say
and i can mean it for the first time
so sincerely
but its better for me to always remember
love lies

Effortless Lies

youre always full of perfect words in sorry pairs
you promised endings to our beginnings
and full of clolor
you said may be some things gold can stay
because you always loved to prove things wrong
i had doubts so deep
buried inside the safest parts of me
the places that torture no one but myself
they taunted me saying
your effortless words were not true
lies built upon luck
and lust
and good will
i just wish you could have proved me wrong
because i hate to be right
when it comes to
losing you


the past is unsettling
because it can never be redone
it can only be filled with sad smiles
haunted tears and
bitter regrets that weaken with age
that no longer leave the bad taste
in your mouth they
once did
but the future is unsettling
because it cannot be known
and is notorious for breaking plans
and breaking people
and creating pasts
that futures hurt from
and the present is dangerous because
you are your pasts future and
your futures past
and nothing can make sense here
everything is confused