For those that are
hurt or hurting or have the
potential of being hurt.
For those that need words
or just want to find them.
This is for you,
this is for us.
You’re clustered in a group, looking at some less than interesting video that your friend said that you would enjoy when someone makes a dig at you. It doesn’t matter what they say. It never really does. But think of your deepest insecurity. Maybe, and for many, it’s some part of your body, or your body in it’s entirety. Maybe, like me, you hate your stomach or your nose or the way that hair never really cooperates. Maybe your insecurities are different. Maybe you’re worried about being smart, about getting good grades, about succeeding. Maybe you’re worried about whether or not your friends like you or your boyfriend/girlfriend likes you the same way you like them, maybe you are still learning to love yourself and that concerns you. Maybe you’re single and you hate it, it doesn’t matter. Because for as long as you can remember you have struggled against your insecurities, learned to love the parts of you that maybe you hated. I remember the day I learned to love my toothy smile and bony frame, it was hard and it’s not the same love-love relationship I have with other things, but it worked and I was freed. But some insecurities run deeper, they are not easily defeated. Sometimes their sole purpose is to motivate us to greatness, they are not there to be broken, only manipulated.
So back to the point, you’re standing in a circle and that one friend you love and hate says that thing that hurts more than it should. They remark on your outfit, they remark on your relationship, they say something about a test, a grade point average, they ask when the last time you went on a date. And you laugh because they love you and it’s just a joke and everyone else in the group loves you and they don’t really care what that friend said. So you laugh because you don’t want to cause a scene as you settle into your disappoint. Their words echo into the deepest crevices of your soul, the places you don’t tell others about.
Later, their words still settle into you, jabbing you in new places and finding you in points of weakness. So you don’t eat the right way or fall asleep the right way and you know that you will get over it, because it was a joke and your friend loves you right?
They may love you, and I’m sure they do. Sometimes people are insensitive, sometimes they are hurting and they need to jab at others a little to help their aching heart.
you never deserve to feel less than. There isn’t anyone on this planet that should hurt you. Now I get that people will. Sad ex-boyfriends or bitter teachers or roommates that say things in anger that they don’t mean because they are just now realizing that living with people is hard.
But your friends, they should always make you feel better. If they know the deepest darkest crevices of your instability than they should know to leave those places untouched, unless they are sincerely supporting you. They will place themselves behind you, not ahead, so they can catch you when you stumble instead of being the one to trip you up. They know what’s funny and not funny, what’s good and what’s not.
You deserve to feel greater
than you already feel now. No
matter the situation.
Do not settle. Your life is short and this world is large and you will find the ones that love you for everything you are and everything you are not.